My baby boy is almost one. He isn't really a baby anymore. Just in the past week I've felt such a big shift. It's hard to put my finger on it, exactly. I guess it's the cumulative effect of lots of little details. For one thing, Mazin seems to just get what's going on around him now--he is really starting to catch on. And he is developing opinions about all of it. Tonight he cried when I took him out of the bath--because he wasn't finished playing in it. (Or that's my guess, anyway.) His non-verbal communication is pretty clear. He points at things. He laughs when he looks at certain pictures in books. He actually sits with books in his lap and turns the pages, investigating. He understands this is what you do with books. (Then he tries to eat them. We haven't quite convinced him yet that this is not what you do with books.) A favorite moment was the other morning, when I took him out to greet the chickens, like we do many mornings. I put him down and let him grab onto the chicken wire to hold himself up. We talked with the hens for a little while. Then he bent over, picked a piece of grass, and pushed it through the wire for Britney (a.k.a. "Clubby") to snatch. I was amazed. He had seen me do this a few times, but I guess I didn't think he was paying such close attention. I guess it's that he's gone from primarily passive, soaking it all in and observing, to intensely active, experimenting and exploring and not ever stopping until he is absolutely exhausted. For the past few days I've almost had to force him to nurse, he's so busy with other things. He squirms and thrashes and tries to escape my arms until I manage to get my nipple out and wave it directly under his nose. Only then will he quiet for a moment and nurse for a few minutes. But he is terribly impatient for the milk to let down. I'm realizing now how utterly precious those months of stillness and cuddling really were. I'm so glad I let him nap on me sometimes. I'm so glad I wore him on walks or out on the town. I'm glad I kept him in our bed, and still do. I'm glad I indulged him, because he indulged me. From now on, there will be less and less physical intimacy between us. It will never again be like those first months, when he wanted nothing more than to be nestled against me. How do you let them go?
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Indulgence
My baby boy is almost one. He isn't really a baby anymore. Just in the past week I've felt such a big shift. It's hard to put my finger on it, exactly. I guess it's the cumulative effect of lots of little details. For one thing, Mazin seems to just get what's going on around him now--he is really starting to catch on. And he is developing opinions about all of it. Tonight he cried when I took him out of the bath--because he wasn't finished playing in it. (Or that's my guess, anyway.) His non-verbal communication is pretty clear. He points at things. He laughs when he looks at certain pictures in books. He actually sits with books in his lap and turns the pages, investigating. He understands this is what you do with books. (Then he tries to eat them. We haven't quite convinced him yet that this is not what you do with books.) A favorite moment was the other morning, when I took him out to greet the chickens, like we do many mornings. I put him down and let him grab onto the chicken wire to hold himself up. We talked with the hens for a little while. Then he bent over, picked a piece of grass, and pushed it through the wire for Britney (a.k.a. "Clubby") to snatch. I was amazed. He had seen me do this a few times, but I guess I didn't think he was paying such close attention. I guess it's that he's gone from primarily passive, soaking it all in and observing, to intensely active, experimenting and exploring and not ever stopping until he is absolutely exhausted. For the past few days I've almost had to force him to nurse, he's so busy with other things. He squirms and thrashes and tries to escape my arms until I manage to get my nipple out and wave it directly under his nose. Only then will he quiet for a moment and nurse for a few minutes. But he is terribly impatient for the milk to let down. I'm realizing now how utterly precious those months of stillness and cuddling really were. I'm so glad I let him nap on me sometimes. I'm so glad I wore him on walks or out on the town. I'm glad I kept him in our bed, and still do. I'm glad I indulged him, because he indulged me. From now on, there will be less and less physical intimacy between us. It will never again be like those first months, when he wanted nothing more than to be nestled against me. How do you let them go?
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1 comment:
makes me sad.....I don't think we do let them go...and they do come back to cuddle again...susiep
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