Presence

Suddenly it's past eleven and I haven't done anything on my mental morning list. This is life with a baby. Mazin is teaching me how to just be, the little Buddha. He doesn't want to be slung into the sling to watch as I do the dishes; he has no interest in laundry. (Good excuse to get out of both.) He wants to sit on my lap and stare at my face, learning to mimic my expressions. I can't even imagine how hard his brain is working to make new connections and grow new tissue and create memories and just learn, learn, learn. It is fascinating to watch. I love how he is figuring out how to get our attention and charm us into playing with him. There is nothing like the smile of a new baby. Man, if I could still smile like that, I could cajole anyone into just about anything. Just look at it! You want me to give up coffee, wine, and timely showering to wipe your butt ten times a day? With pleasure! Prefer that I submit my ill-prepared nipples fully to your every whine and whimper? Gladly! Ask and I will give. You don't even need to ask. Just be. I would do anything for you... but most of the time you only ask for my presence. My full presence.